FalseMotivation

2010, wow.  I thought the 90’s sounded like so long ago, now someone says “Back in 2000″ and I think “Damn that was a long time ago…” or at least it feels that way.

2000: I was half way through my freshman year in high school/started by sophomore year

2001: half-way through soph. year/started junior year, 9/11

2002: half way through jr. year/started senior year

2003: finished sr year, moved to TN, mom remarried, started college

2004: some more college, some life lessons

2005: a little bit of college, some major life lessons

2006: joined the Army, moved to Washington State

2007: Deployed to Iraq

2008: Returned from Iraq, got married

2009: Made it through 1 year of marriage happily and succesfully, redeployed to Iraq

2010: Who knows what the heck is in store for me and my family?
I look forward to this next decade, I look forward to spending it with my wife, continuing my Army career, and just generally being a bad ass.

Happy New Year everyone, TS Out!

Yes I got bored enough to slightly re-write/tweak the famed Christmas Poem, hope you all enjoy it and have a merry christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Iraq,
my unit was on patrol, wtf is up with that?
Our vics were staged on a road nearby with care,
In hopes that RTB we would soon hear

The drivers were nestled all snug in their holes
While visions of the dfac danced in their domes
And the PL in his ACS, and me in my poly
Had just settled down for a long kle

When out in sector there arose such a clatter
We sprang from our seats to see what was the matter
Away to the sound the vics flew like a flash
And scanned their sectors, just praying for the chance

The moon on the breast of the feces filled canal
Gave the lustre of mid day all around
When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But an effin sleigh, and 8 tiny reindeer

With a little old driver, so lively and quick
We thought for a moment the DFac had made us sick
More rapid thank rockets his coursers they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!  On Comet!
On Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of that house, at the following grid!
Aww crap! Seems we’ve been spotted, dash away quick!”

As dry leaves that before a speeding stryker fly
When they met with our roadblocks, they mount to the sky
So up to the house top we silently moved
And saw the sleigh full of toys, and that fat guy in a red suit

And then in a twinkling, we heard on the roof, the prancing
and pawing of each little hoof.  As I drew in my head and was
turning around.
Santa battle drill 6′d his way into the house
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with dust, and reindeer poop

A bundle of goodies he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a hadj trying to peddle some crap
But his eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like lasers, and his nose like a cherry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard on his chin was white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoked it smelled like it might be weed.

He had a broad face, and a little round belly
No way he passed his last pt test, and he was kinda smelly
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I couldn’t help but laugh, in spite of myself

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head
Soon let me know that I had nothing to dread
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all of our ruck sacks, and then turned with a jerk
And laying his finger aside of his nose
and giving a nod back up the stairs he rose

He sprang to his sleigh, and gave his team a whistle
And away they all flew like a patriot missile
But I heard him yell, as he flew out of sight
“Merry Christmas to all, and your mission’s been extended tonight!”

[Legend: RTB - Return to Base, WTF - what the (badword), PL - Platoon Leader, ACS - Army Combat Shirt, Poly - PolyPro cold weather gear, Battle Drill 6 - Enter and Clear a Room/House]

EDIT: I dug back into the archives and brought out the old christmas carol post, where a friend and I ad libbed some christmas favorites deployment style last tour, enjoy:

The US Infantry Is In Town

Ohhhh, you better watch out, you better not try
You better not blow shit up, I’m telling you why
The US Infantry’s in town!

We see you when you’re sleeping
We know when you’re awake
We know if you’re AQI, so run for goodness sake!

Ohhhh, you better watch out, you better not try
You better not blow shit up, I’m telling you why
The US Infantry’s in town!

Hadji Got Run Over By A Stryker

Hadji got run over by a Stryker
Planting a bomb on Christmas Eve
You may say they’re just Insurgents
But they’re just roadkill to me

He’d been reading the Koran
And he thought he had a plan
But he hadn’t counted on the fact
That we’d pound him into the sand

Hadji got run over by a Stryker
Planting a bomb on Christmas Eve
You may say they’re just Insurgents
But they’re just roadkill to me

When the IA found him Christmas morning
At the scene of his attack
There were Stryker Tracks on his forehead
And .50 Cal rounds in his back

Hadji got run over by a Stryker
Planting a bomb on Christmas Eve
You may say they’re just Insurgents
But they’re just roadkill to me

So, this tour is all about finding ways to pass the time.  We’re on Camp Liberty so there’s no shortage of things to do, unfortunately a lot of them involve going to the PX and I don’t need to spend a lot of money.  I also go to the gym a lot, but that’s a given…it’s a great way to feel like I’m accomplishing something this tour.   Another escape would be the wondrous internet!  Oh my life would be so droll and horrible without this wonderful technology.  But the crown jewel of my boredom killing days: Graphic Art.  I’ve taken to fiddling around with photoshop a lot.  And I’d like to think I’ve become decent at it.

Here’s some of my beginner pieces:

First Attempt, It Sucks.

Better, but it still sucks.

Better than the other 2 by far, but I'm working on an even better version.

Uggg...horrible.

Wayyyyyy Better! Learned to make background transparent!

The crown jewel of my text signatures, though with all the new skils I've learned recently....there's a better version coming soon I'm sure.

I've skipped ahead quite a bit, this is an attempted image tag for the show: The Unit. Still sucks, but way better than earlier attempts.

I was surprised at how well this one came out, and even with a lot of my newer better work...this is my favorite.

"From Dust You Are, And To Dust You Shall Return." Gen 3:19 -- I thought it was very fitting for an old western photo.

I’ll post more later, but this is how a falsely motivated guy, passes time folks.  Enjoy.

Stay Motivated!

TS – Out-

So I promised you all that I’d be so much more active when I deployed….I made this promise thinking “Yes, back to the grind, back to the action!”  No, I was wrong, and I made an empty promise that I haven’t fulfilled…so in light of that I am running for President in 2012!  Just kidding, just kidding.

So, I sit here in Iraq…nothing going on.  We still patrol daily, and the IA still don’t patrol daily…but somehow they’re capable and willing to take charge of the situation here.  I guess it makes sense…but not really considering that 6 VBIEDs hit Baghdad at the exact same time.  Iraq isn’t ready for us to leave, just like Afghanistan isn’t ready for us to leave in 2011.

The IA don’t do joint patrols with us, every time we go to their compound in the mornings “Oh, we went out last night and just got back in 2 hours ago, we are so tired…have fun patrolling infidel”  Yup, sure will hadj podge…sure will.  I’ll enjoy walking 5-6 clicks at a time to keep your country safe, while you sleep and don’t do your job.  I’ll enjoy missing 2 out of 3 meals a day so you don’t have to do your job, and I’ll sure as hell enjoy wearing all of my gear and riding in a cramped Stryker for hours on end…so you can relax and watch porn on your phone and practice curse words in English.

I have officially entered the cynical, sarcastic phase of my deployment…you have been forewarned.

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, Verses: 1-8

That’s one of my favorite verses in the bible, it applies to life and how we move through it.  Simple wisdom and guidance to remind us that there is a time for everything.  So what is this?  It’s not War, it’s not Peace, it’s not a time to Kill or Heal, it’s not a time of weeping or laughing, of dancing or mourning…it’s a time for nothing.  There is nothing here.

I typically agree with the quote “No one prays for peace more than a soldier”, but now I feel as if I just want it to be a war…or maybe it’s that I’m sick of it not being a war, and it not being peace and I’m caught in the middle sitting on the SOFA.  I miss my family far more this time than I did last time, maybe it’s the result of having made it through a true combat tour…and appreciating what I have.

It’s too early for me to be in a funk like this, and I still have 7-8 months before I go on leave; and there is no date set for my withdrawal…my unit is here “Until Mission Ends”.

Stay Motivated Folks, And Send Me Some Of Your Motivation.

-TS Out.

FalseMotivation this is ToySoldier, Over.

ToySoldier this is FalseMotivation.

Roger FalseMotivation, ToySoldier sending SITREP as follows, break:

• Partnership with the IA seems to be non-existent, either due to an extreme dislike of US Forces, AQI infiltration of their ranks, or corruption within their ranks, Break.
• There seems to be little to no true purpose for the patrols being conducted, aimless wandering for hours, copious amounts of time spent sitting on our vehicles, this again ties back into the seemingly non-existent partnership with the IA, Break.
• Soldiers feel as if they’re being forgotten by the US Government while they fight to receive proper equipment and ammunition; it took almost 2 weeks of operations for this unit to receive all the ammo they need, and soldiers still do not have all the proper gear such as IOTV’s, ACS’s, etc….word is it’s all being redirected to Afghanistan.  PEQ-2’s are hard to come by, so we better not break any, as are most of our optics, Break.
• Soldiers are also feeling disappointed as they could quite possibly be the first combat troops in Iraq to not earn their Combat Infantryman’s Badge.
• In other news, AQI and other AIF seem to be ignoring US targets for ISF and GOI targets.

How copy, Over.

ToySoldier this is FalseMotivation, that’s a good copy.

Roger…ToySoldier….Out.

Ok, seriously….that’s how I felt like broadcasting that….I’m so frustrated right now and so are many other soldiers like me, just trying to keep the motivation up.

Stay Motivated.

-TS

So, here we are a full month in and I am enjoying my first official down day, or recovery…whichever you’d prefer to call it.  Things are absolutely stupid here, we’re the only company in our battalion to be running patrols longer than 3 or 4 hours, and to do it constantly…the other companies don’t leave unless the IA call them out…which is rarely and never for long periods of time.  I’m slightly grateful that I’m doing something and hope it leads to this deployment flying by, but I’m wondering why…because there’s nothing to do.

So, as we all know the Op Tempo in Iraq these days is quite a bit slow, a bit boring, and it’s having 2nd and 3rd order effects on troops now.  I’m talking about overly zealous chains of command shoving training down their soldiers throats while they’re deployed.  Yes, training is good; Yes, training is important.  Training is good in moderation, not good when a soldier is deployed across the world from his family and friends, and you’re forcing him to repeat the same actions he already knows how to do day…after…day…a.fter…day.

That’s my gripe.  I train my soldiers, but their morale is equally important as their training.   No battle can be won without soldiers who have high morale.

Stay Motivated (I know I’m trying.)

-TS-

And it’s not veryeffin enjoyable.  So here I sit in Kuwait, no longer naieve and impressed by how we can build small cities as forward operating bases.  No longer amazed that I can get a cup of coffee from a coffee shop and stroll over to a taco bell for lunch.  That was me in deployment 1, this time I’m a Sergeant, a Leader, a Vet, and a doubly cynical ass.

I can’t wait to get to the actual “down range” and get this tour over with.  Look for more to come as I embark upon this craptastically wonderful journey a second time around.

Stay Motivated.

-TS-